Archives
Bobbie's Commentary Shepherd
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Bobbie's Commentary Shepherd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 1
Trusting Enough To Launch
It is with the greatest trust I have ever held that I write this column today.
Life from beginning to end has many twists and turns. It is through these twists and turns we grow. We can choose to shrink to decay and die of loneliness, or to go onto greatness.
One wonders about how each individual perceives us as a person. For example, our friends see us as bright loving, and very giving people. That we have the highest respect for all individuals in all kinds of circumstances, regardless of how they treat us back.
Then we come to our families. Our fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters, and other close relatives. It appears those who should be the closest to us, are not. Those that should see us as kind, loving, gentle, and very respectful people do not.
In their eyes we are villainous, and the most dis-respectful people they have ever known. How can this be? Can their perception of us be changed? No I do not believe so, but only by the grace of God.
How do we enlist God's grace? One way is this; prayer, and I am now convinced it is the only way!
Our loved ones cannot change their perception of us on their own. I believe Satan has put a blocker over their eyes, and heart. They can only see us through his eyes and mind.
Why would Satan want us to be seen as villainous? The reason is this, as born-again believers we are highly useful to God. Satan does want us to be in a state where God can use us to help out families, and friends find Him.
Again I say the answer is prayer to the Lord. We need to hold up our families and friends constantly to the Lord in prayer. That He removes the scales from their eyes and hearts.
Then and only then can we be a light that shines bright in their lives. When they become one with the Lord, their perception of us will be cleared up, and only then. So we need to hold them up in prayer inter-cession to the Lord continually.
We are God's laborers in this world. We have been told, and sent out to bring in the harvest. How could we live with our selves, if we did not listen to God?
So it is with the greatest faith I shall keep on praying, and holding up to God, all those who see me as a villain, and dis-respectful person.
How long will it be that I have to wait for them to love me and accept me back into their lives? I do not know that answer. What I do know is this. God has promised to never leave or forsake me in any, or all things.
I take God at His promise. I will keep my eyes on Him. I shall allow Him to bring all the strands, "The Master Tapestry" into place.
Until we meet again, may God's grace be with you.
In God's Love and Mine,
Bobbie Friday June 17, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 2
How Can It Be
It is difficult to relate to someone who has barrels of money. I still know though, they also have ups and downs.
One thing I have in common with them is faith, and I too ask what is the purpose of my life here?
One thing I cannot understand is this. If this life is preparation for eternity with the Lord, than why is there so much pain and agony?
Eternity with the Lord is told us; that it will be joyous, better than we could ever imagine. Please tell me, how can agony lead to joy unspeakable?
To grow in Christ likeness is a lifelong process.
LOVE is God. God is All. Our needs are taken care of by Him and His universal love. Not always as we would want them to be taken care of though!
Getting our focus onto looking up is the easy part. To discern His purpose for us is not.
Reaching out to others seems to happen easily for some of us. The real fact here is that others do not always want to see or even hear what we are offering them. For whatever reason they choose to attack us. Turning the other cheek does not always help either of us.
Peoples perception of us is often misinterpreted. Then we are cast into the villain roll by others.
There comes a point in our lives, and I can only talk for myself, that we say enough is enough.
We no longer are so willing to be walked all over for other's wrong perception of us.
Where does that leave us? In a world of people who feel disjointed and fractured from society. Is that good? No.
What I can see in all this is that we are truly drawn close to God, because we are HIS. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us.
We can take that promise right into the heart of eternity.
Trusting God, even though our eyes are blinded, our hearts broken, and our being is shrinking from human aloneness, is a major task God wants us to succeed in.
Thanking God through it all, is my goal, though some days I fail miserably.
What to do now? I don't know. God knows though.
To have hearts join together for the betterment of all would be best for all. Though I fear we ALL shrink from that, reasons being we are all different. And yes, afraid to get close to others because it is easier to go through the pain alone, then to have another swipe at us.
We individually can long for togetherness with another believer, and at the same time, slam the door on them. Building a wall sky high is so easy, or so it seems.
Why build the wall? If what we want is to share life with another, building walls is not the way to do it. In my opinion we are helpless, and cannot stop building walls. We need others, though maybe they don't need us. What is the solution? I don't know. Only God knows.
In God's Love and Mine,
Bobbie Wilson July 23, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 3
Peace and Grace Through It All
In my sunset years I rely on God's promises to always be with me.
That HE will not allow the devil to steal me away, no matter what happens!
Over the years from young teenage to middle sixties there have been many break away's from all I held dear, and close to my heart.
First was breaking from my childhood neighborhood in Owl's Head, ME.
Next was going through an almost deadly marriage. All the time wondering WHY?
Twenty years or so flew by and I was married to a wonderful man, and had two most beautiful daughters. After 20 years it fell apart, or so I thought. Shattered totally is the only way to describe it for me.
Off I went to the central part of ME, Palmyra.
Here I became a Born-again Christian. My life changed tremendously, not always for what seemed good.
Only by the GRACE of GOD have I survived all what seemed like losses to my life.
Bitterness wanted to fill every facet of my being. God helped me to choose HIS promises through it ALL.
Now, I am getting ready to buy a new home in sort of Northern, ME. As of today the middle of September 2010, five years later, my home in Dexter has gone back up for sale, for just over a year now.
Am I downcast, and broken? No. God's grace has held me up through it all. Upgrading this home has been a challenge, and very rewarding.
Getting myself relocated to a safe Senior Housing hopefully in Rockland, Maine is of utmost importance.
Then, and only then can I focus on God's work again, which in my point of view is recreating His musical animated web pages with the talent He has gifted me with.
My FAITH IN GOD, will get me to where HE wants me, and can use me. Back to my beginnings in ME.
In God’s Love And Mine,
Bobbie Wilson Sunday September 19, 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 4
Dear Mr. President,
I love my country and have lived in it for just over 69 years.
<http://bobbiew.net/>
The link above is my personal web site at BobbieW.net. Please check the site out, especially Bobbie’s Commentary Shepherd.
You are doing a super job, keep up the good work.
May God richly bless you and Michelle, and the girls
.
In His Love and Mine,
Bobbie Wilson November 22, 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#5
Our Country, America
Many years ago our fore fathers met and worked through their differences to establish our country on God's word. It was a long fought out battle, tho they came through it united.
Under the united front our country prospered. Yes, we had our battles but we came through it all.
Even back then, and in the pursuing years many wars were fought, with many lives lost. In the end we came out of it all united.
What I have seen happen over the years of my life is this. We, the free people, injected with fierce patriotism, have let others rob our country and our inalienable rights out from under us.
Please tell me why have we laid down and let it all go so easily? Is not all of this worth fighting for? How can the next person rob us of our rights, and we let them?
Sure, we are the melting pot of the world. That was God's design. I do not believe it was His design for us to lay down and let others walk all over us.
Get UP, don't just lay down, and let them win and rob us of our rights. Where is it written, we are always wrong and don't deserve our rights as our forefathers gave us?
Stand up, take your rights back, in a patriotic way.
Whether you like it or not, respect is one of our biggest problems in this country. We need to respect the office of the President. ( I don't see many of you going for the job). Even if you do not agree with the person in the Oval Office, they deserve your respect.
I believe this country is so divided in all the public offices, that this shows other countries that we are really weak. In reality we are not. Only if we would stop fighting and bickering in the public eye can we really be a united country again.
I remember my teacher, Klara T. Kelsey telling us all, " A country United stands, but a country divided falls." I believe our country is falling because our politicians are focused on their needs. They have become focused on getting ahead and wealthy, especially at the expense of those constituents that voted them into office.
Now all the evil axis countries are exploiting our weaknesses. They are out braining us. If we are not brought back to reality now, they will win. God forbid that should come about.
Wake up, AMERICA, become united so we can stand, and go on.
AMEN.
In God's Love and Mine,
MS Bobbie December 1, 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( This article came across my eye sight, it is worth sharing, it will help some feel normal! ) ( So I'm just like all the others! This is awesome.)
#6
Oh No Mama's Got A Temper
( A must read for all ! )
Dear Mom,
I've seen you around. I've seen you screaming at your kids in public, I've seen you ignoring them at the playground, I've seen you un-showered and wearing last night's pajama pants at pre-school drop-off. I've seen you begging your children, bribing them, threatening them. I've seen you shouting back and forth with your husband, with your mom, with the police officer at the crosswalk.
I've seen you running around with your kids, getting dirty and occasionally swearing audibly when you bang a knee. I've seen you sharing a milk shake with a manic 4-year-old. I've seen you wiping your kid's boogers with your bare palm, and then smearing them on the back of your jeans. I've seen you carry your toddler flopped over the crook of your arm while chasing a runaway ball.
I've also seen you gritting your teeth while your kid screamed at you for making him practice piano, or soccer, or basket weaving or whatever it was. I've seen you close your eyes and breathe slowly after finding a gallon of milk dumped into your trunk. I've seen you crying into the sink while you desperately scrub crayon off your best designer purse. I've seen you pacing in front of the house.
I've seen you at the hospital waiting room. I've seen you at the pharmacy counter. I've seen you looking tired and frightened.
I've seen a lot of you, actually.
I see you every single day.
I don't know if you planned to be a parent or not. If you always knew from your earliest years that you wanted to bring children into the world, to tend to them, or if motherhood was thrust upon you unexpectedly. I don't know if it meets your expectations, or if you spent your first days as a mom terrified that you would never feel what you imagined "motherly love" would feel like for your child. I don't know if you struggled with in-fertility, or with pregnancy loss, or with a traumatic birth. I don't know if you created your child with your body, or created your family by welcoming your child into it.
But I know a lot about you.
I know that you didn't get everything that you wanted. I know that you got a wealth of things you never knew you wanted until they were there in front of you. I know that you don't believe that you're doing your best, that you think you can do better. I know you are doing better than you think.
I know that when you look at your child, your children, you see yourself. And I know that you don't, that you see a stranger who can't understand why the small details of childhood that were so important to you are a bother to this small person who resembles you.
I know that you want to throw a lamp at your teenagers head sometimes. I know you want to toss your 3-year-old out the window once in a while.
I know that some nights, once it's finally quiet, you curl up in bed and cry. I know that sometimes, you don't, even though you wanted to.
I know that some days are so hard that all you want is for them to end, and then at bedtime your children hug you and kiss you and tell you how much they love you and want to be like you, and you wish the day could last forever.
But it never does. The day always ends, and the next day brings new challenges. Fevers, heartbreak, art projects, new friends, new pets, new fights. And every day you do what you need to do.
You take care of things, because that's your job. You go to work, or you fill up the crock pot, or you climb into the garden, or strap the baby to your back and pull out the vacuum cleaner.
You drop everything you're doing to moderate an argument over whose turn it is to use a specifically colored marker, or to kiss a boo-boo, or to have a conversation about what kind of lipstick Pinocchio's Mommy wears.
I know that you have tickle fights in blanket forts, and that you have the words to at least eight different picture books memorized. I've heard that you dance like a wild woman when it's just you and them. That you have no shame about farting or belching in their presence, that you make up goofy songs about peas and potatoes and cheese.
I know that an hour past bedtime, you drop what you're doing and trim the fingernail that your 3-year-old insists is keeping her up. I know that you stop cleaning dishes because your kids insist you need to join their tea party. I know you fed your kids PB & JELLY for four days straight when you had the flu. I know that you eat leftover crusts over the sink while your kids watch "Sponge Bob."
I know you didn't expect most of this. I know you didn't anticipate loving somebody so intensely, or loathing your post-baby body so much, or being so tired or being the mom you've turned out to be.
You thought you had it figured out. Or you were blind and terrified. You hired the perfect nanny. Or you quit your job and learned to assemble flat-packed baby furniture. You get confused by the conflict of feeling like nothing has changed since you were free and unfettered by children, and looking back on the choices you made as though an impostor was wearing your skin.
You're not a perfect mom. No matter how you try, no matter what you do. You will never be a perfect mom.
And maybe that haunts you. Or maybe you've made peace with it. Or maybe it was never a problem to begin with.
No matter how much you do, there is always more. No matter how little you do, when the day is over, your children are still loved. They still smile at you, believing you have magical powers to fix almost anything. No matter what happened at work, or at school, or in play group, you have still done everything in your power to ensure that the next morning will dawn and your children will be as happy, healthy, and wise as could possibly be hoped.
There's an old Yiddish saying: "There is one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it."
Unfortunately, there are no perfect parents. Your kids will grow up determined to be different than you. They will grow up certain that they won't make their kids take piano lessons, or they'll be more lenient, or more strict, or have more kids, or have fewer, or have none at all.
No matter how far from perfect you are, you are better than you think.
Someday your kids will be running around like crazy people at synagogue and concuss themselves on a hand rail, and somebody will still walk up to you and tell you what a beautiful family you have. You'll be at the park and your kids will be covered in mud and jam up to the elbows, smearing your car with sugary cement, and a pregnant lady will stop and smile at you wistfully.
No matter how many doubts you might have, you never need doubt this one thing: You are not perfect.
And that's good. Because really, neither is your child. And that means nobody can care for them the way you can, with the wealth of your understanding and your experience. Nobody knows what your child's squall means, or what their jokes mean, or why they are crying better than you do.
And since no mother is perfect, chances are you are caught in a two billion way tie for
Best Mom in the World.
Congratulations, Best Mom in the World. You're not perfect.
You are as good as anybody can get.
In God's Love and Mine,
Bobbie Wilson June 23, 2013
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Created by God
and Bobbie Wilson
August 11, 2017
HOME
Trusting Enough To Launch
It is with the greatest trust I have ever held that I write this column today.
Life from beginning to end has many twists and turns. It is through these twists and turns we grow. We can choose to shrink to decay and die of loneliness, or to go onto greatness.
One wonders about how each individual perceives us as a person. For example, our friends see us as bright loving, and very giving people. That we have the highest respect for all individuals in all kinds of circumstances, regardless of how they treat us back.
Then we come to our families. Our fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters, and other close relatives. It appears those who should be the closest to us, are not. Those that should see us as kind, loving, gentle, and very respectful people do not.
In their eyes we are villainous, and the most dis-respectful people they have ever known. How can this be? Can their perception of us be changed? No I do not believe so, but only by the grace of God.
How do we enlist God's grace? One way is this; prayer, and I am now convinced it is the only way!
Our loved ones cannot change their perception of us on their own. I believe Satan has put a blocker over their eyes, and heart. They can only see us through his eyes and mind.
Why would Satan want us to be seen as villainous? The reason is this, as born-again believers we are highly useful to God. Satan does want us to be in a state where God can use us to help out families, and friends find Him.
Again I say the answer is prayer to the Lord. We need to hold up our families and friends constantly to the Lord in prayer. That He removes the scales from their eyes and hearts.
Then and only then can we be a light that shines bright in their lives. When they become one with the Lord, their perception of us will be cleared up, and only then. So we need to hold them up in prayer inter-cession to the Lord continually.
We are God's laborers in this world. We have been told, and sent out to bring in the harvest. How could we live with our selves, if we did not listen to God?
So it is with the greatest faith I shall keep on praying, and holding up to God, all those who see me as a villain, and dis-respectful person.
How long will it be that I have to wait for them to love me and accept me back into their lives? I do not know that answer. What I do know is this. God has promised to never leave or forsake me in any, or all things.
I take God at His promise. I will keep my eyes on Him. I shall allow Him to bring all the strands, "The Master Tapestry" into place.
Until we meet again, may God's grace be with you.
In God's Love and Mine,
Bobbie Friday June 17, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 2
How Can It Be
It is difficult to relate to someone who has barrels of money. I still know though, they also have ups and downs.
One thing I have in common with them is faith, and I too ask what is the purpose of my life here?
One thing I cannot understand is this. If this life is preparation for eternity with the Lord, than why is there so much pain and agony?
Eternity with the Lord is told us; that it will be joyous, better than we could ever imagine. Please tell me, how can agony lead to joy unspeakable?
To grow in Christ likeness is a lifelong process.
LOVE is God. God is All. Our needs are taken care of by Him and His universal love. Not always as we would want them to be taken care of though!
Getting our focus onto looking up is the easy part. To discern His purpose for us is not.
Reaching out to others seems to happen easily for some of us. The real fact here is that others do not always want to see or even hear what we are offering them. For whatever reason they choose to attack us. Turning the other cheek does not always help either of us.
Peoples perception of us is often misinterpreted. Then we are cast into the villain roll by others.
There comes a point in our lives, and I can only talk for myself, that we say enough is enough.
We no longer are so willing to be walked all over for other's wrong perception of us.
Where does that leave us? In a world of people who feel disjointed and fractured from society. Is that good? No.
What I can see in all this is that we are truly drawn close to God, because we are HIS. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us.
We can take that promise right into the heart of eternity.
Trusting God, even though our eyes are blinded, our hearts broken, and our being is shrinking from human aloneness, is a major task God wants us to succeed in.
Thanking God through it all, is my goal, though some days I fail miserably.
What to do now? I don't know. God knows though.
To have hearts join together for the betterment of all would be best for all. Though I fear we ALL shrink from that, reasons being we are all different. And yes, afraid to get close to others because it is easier to go through the pain alone, then to have another swipe at us.
We individually can long for togetherness with another believer, and at the same time, slam the door on them. Building a wall sky high is so easy, or so it seems.
Why build the wall? If what we want is to share life with another, building walls is not the way to do it. In my opinion we are helpless, and cannot stop building walls. We need others, though maybe they don't need us. What is the solution? I don't know. Only God knows.
In God's Love and Mine,
Bobbie Wilson July 23, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 3
Peace and Grace Through It All
In my sunset years I rely on God's promises to always be with me.
That HE will not allow the devil to steal me away, no matter what happens!
Over the years from young teenage to middle sixties there have been many break away's from all I held dear, and close to my heart.
First was breaking from my childhood neighborhood in Owl's Head, ME.
Next was going through an almost deadly marriage. All the time wondering WHY?
Twenty years or so flew by and I was married to a wonderful man, and had two most beautiful daughters. After 20 years it fell apart, or so I thought. Shattered totally is the only way to describe it for me.
Off I went to the central part of ME, Palmyra.
Here I became a Born-again Christian. My life changed tremendously, not always for what seemed good.
Only by the GRACE of GOD have I survived all what seemed like losses to my life.
Bitterness wanted to fill every facet of my being. God helped me to choose HIS promises through it ALL.
Now, I am getting ready to buy a new home in sort of Northern, ME. As of today the middle of September 2010, five years later, my home in Dexter has gone back up for sale, for just over a year now.
Am I downcast, and broken? No. God's grace has held me up through it all. Upgrading this home has been a challenge, and very rewarding.
Getting myself relocated to a safe Senior Housing hopefully in Rockland, Maine is of utmost importance.
Then, and only then can I focus on God's work again, which in my point of view is recreating His musical animated web pages with the talent He has gifted me with.
My FAITH IN GOD, will get me to where HE wants me, and can use me. Back to my beginnings in ME.
In God’s Love And Mine,
Bobbie Wilson Sunday September 19, 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 4
Dear Mr. President,
I love my country and have lived in it for just over 69 years.
<http://bobbiew.net/>
The link above is my personal web site at BobbieW.net. Please check the site out, especially Bobbie’s Commentary Shepherd.
You are doing a super job, keep up the good work.
May God richly bless you and Michelle, and the girls
.
In His Love and Mine,
Bobbie Wilson November 22, 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#5
Our Country, America
Many years ago our fore fathers met and worked through their differences to establish our country on God's word. It was a long fought out battle, tho they came through it united.
Under the united front our country prospered. Yes, we had our battles but we came through it all.
Even back then, and in the pursuing years many wars were fought, with many lives lost. In the end we came out of it all united.
What I have seen happen over the years of my life is this. We, the free people, injected with fierce patriotism, have let others rob our country and our inalienable rights out from under us.
Please tell me why have we laid down and let it all go so easily? Is not all of this worth fighting for? How can the next person rob us of our rights, and we let them?
Sure, we are the melting pot of the world. That was God's design. I do not believe it was His design for us to lay down and let others walk all over us.
Get UP, don't just lay down, and let them win and rob us of our rights. Where is it written, we are always wrong and don't deserve our rights as our forefathers gave us?
Stand up, take your rights back, in a patriotic way.
Whether you like it or not, respect is one of our biggest problems in this country. We need to respect the office of the President. ( I don't see many of you going for the job). Even if you do not agree with the person in the Oval Office, they deserve your respect.
I believe this country is so divided in all the public offices, that this shows other countries that we are really weak. In reality we are not. Only if we would stop fighting and bickering in the public eye can we really be a united country again.
I remember my teacher, Klara T. Kelsey telling us all, " A country United stands, but a country divided falls." I believe our country is falling because our politicians are focused on their needs. They have become focused on getting ahead and wealthy, especially at the expense of those constituents that voted them into office.
Now all the evil axis countries are exploiting our weaknesses. They are out braining us. If we are not brought back to reality now, they will win. God forbid that should come about.
Wake up, AMERICA, become united so we can stand, and go on.
AMEN.
In God's Love and Mine,
MS Bobbie December 1, 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( This article came across my eye sight, it is worth sharing, it will help some feel normal! ) ( So I'm just like all the others! This is awesome.)
#6
Oh No Mama's Got A Temper
( A must read for all ! )
Dear Mom,
I've seen you around. I've seen you screaming at your kids in public, I've seen you ignoring them at the playground, I've seen you un-showered and wearing last night's pajama pants at pre-school drop-off. I've seen you begging your children, bribing them, threatening them. I've seen you shouting back and forth with your husband, with your mom, with the police officer at the crosswalk.
I've seen you running around with your kids, getting dirty and occasionally swearing audibly when you bang a knee. I've seen you sharing a milk shake with a manic 4-year-old. I've seen you wiping your kid's boogers with your bare palm, and then smearing them on the back of your jeans. I've seen you carry your toddler flopped over the crook of your arm while chasing a runaway ball.
I've also seen you gritting your teeth while your kid screamed at you for making him practice piano, or soccer, or basket weaving or whatever it was. I've seen you close your eyes and breathe slowly after finding a gallon of milk dumped into your trunk. I've seen you crying into the sink while you desperately scrub crayon off your best designer purse. I've seen you pacing in front of the house.
I've seen you at the hospital waiting room. I've seen you at the pharmacy counter. I've seen you looking tired and frightened.
I've seen a lot of you, actually.
I see you every single day.
I don't know if you planned to be a parent or not. If you always knew from your earliest years that you wanted to bring children into the world, to tend to them, or if motherhood was thrust upon you unexpectedly. I don't know if it meets your expectations, or if you spent your first days as a mom terrified that you would never feel what you imagined "motherly love" would feel like for your child. I don't know if you struggled with in-fertility, or with pregnancy loss, or with a traumatic birth. I don't know if you created your child with your body, or created your family by welcoming your child into it.
But I know a lot about you.
I know that you didn't get everything that you wanted. I know that you got a wealth of things you never knew you wanted until they were there in front of you. I know that you don't believe that you're doing your best, that you think you can do better. I know you are doing better than you think.
I know that when you look at your child, your children, you see yourself. And I know that you don't, that you see a stranger who can't understand why the small details of childhood that were so important to you are a bother to this small person who resembles you.
I know that you want to throw a lamp at your teenagers head sometimes. I know you want to toss your 3-year-old out the window once in a while.
I know that some nights, once it's finally quiet, you curl up in bed and cry. I know that sometimes, you don't, even though you wanted to.
I know that some days are so hard that all you want is for them to end, and then at bedtime your children hug you and kiss you and tell you how much they love you and want to be like you, and you wish the day could last forever.
But it never does. The day always ends, and the next day brings new challenges. Fevers, heartbreak, art projects, new friends, new pets, new fights. And every day you do what you need to do.
You take care of things, because that's your job. You go to work, or you fill up the crock pot, or you climb into the garden, or strap the baby to your back and pull out the vacuum cleaner.
You drop everything you're doing to moderate an argument over whose turn it is to use a specifically colored marker, or to kiss a boo-boo, or to have a conversation about what kind of lipstick Pinocchio's Mommy wears.
I know that you have tickle fights in blanket forts, and that you have the words to at least eight different picture books memorized. I've heard that you dance like a wild woman when it's just you and them. That you have no shame about farting or belching in their presence, that you make up goofy songs about peas and potatoes and cheese.
I know that an hour past bedtime, you drop what you're doing and trim the fingernail that your 3-year-old insists is keeping her up. I know that you stop cleaning dishes because your kids insist you need to join their tea party. I know you fed your kids PB & JELLY for four days straight when you had the flu. I know that you eat leftover crusts over the sink while your kids watch "Sponge Bob."
I know you didn't expect most of this. I know you didn't anticipate loving somebody so intensely, or loathing your post-baby body so much, or being so tired or being the mom you've turned out to be.
You thought you had it figured out. Or you were blind and terrified. You hired the perfect nanny. Or you quit your job and learned to assemble flat-packed baby furniture. You get confused by the conflict of feeling like nothing has changed since you were free and unfettered by children, and looking back on the choices you made as though an impostor was wearing your skin.
You're not a perfect mom. No matter how you try, no matter what you do. You will never be a perfect mom.
And maybe that haunts you. Or maybe you've made peace with it. Or maybe it was never a problem to begin with.
No matter how much you do, there is always more. No matter how little you do, when the day is over, your children are still loved. They still smile at you, believing you have magical powers to fix almost anything. No matter what happened at work, or at school, or in play group, you have still done everything in your power to ensure that the next morning will dawn and your children will be as happy, healthy, and wise as could possibly be hoped.
There's an old Yiddish saying: "There is one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it."
Unfortunately, there are no perfect parents. Your kids will grow up determined to be different than you. They will grow up certain that they won't make their kids take piano lessons, or they'll be more lenient, or more strict, or have more kids, or have fewer, or have none at all.
No matter how far from perfect you are, you are better than you think.
Someday your kids will be running around like crazy people at synagogue and concuss themselves on a hand rail, and somebody will still walk up to you and tell you what a beautiful family you have. You'll be at the park and your kids will be covered in mud and jam up to the elbows, smearing your car with sugary cement, and a pregnant lady will stop and smile at you wistfully.
No matter how many doubts you might have, you never need doubt this one thing: You are not perfect.
And that's good. Because really, neither is your child. And that means nobody can care for them the way you can, with the wealth of your understanding and your experience. Nobody knows what your child's squall means, or what their jokes mean, or why they are crying better than you do.
And since no mother is perfect, chances are you are caught in a two billion way tie for
Best Mom in the World.
Congratulations, Best Mom in the World. You're not perfect.
You are as good as anybody can get.
In God's Love and Mine,
Bobbie Wilson June 23, 2013
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Created by God
and Bobbie Wilson
August 11, 2017
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