Desperate Lord

Dear Lord I come to you now
Trusting and believing in your love
And your written word the Bible
Life at times gets blurred boundaries for me

Ever since my childhood I have loved you
And would wonder up to the village church
In Owl's Head Maine to be with you
They always had a pair of shoes for me to wear

Many patterns for my life developed back then
The best pattern was the love and believing in you
So many miracles have been given me by you
Father God you are so faithful to us all in love

The times of life where it got real rough you held me
My earliest memory was when I was drowning
In Sandy Shores I was trying to get to a float
Well on third time under your hand pulled me up

Smile I do now but there you were again guiding
As a child I tried to ride a telephone pole
None the less the ocean was very cold and rough
Tide was going out and I would have been lost

Then I wanted to help mom do laundry
So I tried to put clothes through the ringer
The rest of the story is all history and you helped
Mom though broke her leg running from the well

So at these few times my utter desperation called
My life was in peril and and you rescued me
Mom worked at O'Haras and Dad had a cab
They seemed desperate but did best they could

When Dad came home from his cab business
First thing he'd do was throw all his pocket change
My brother Al and I would dive for the coins
Our parlor at times was happy for us as a family

My brothers graduation came and visitors too
Unfortunately there was a scuffle and
My Auntie Agnes was rushed to the hospital
She was scarred thank God you healed her

One day walking home from Timber Hill School
I collapsed on side of road at end of a driveway
I was unconscious and brought to my home quickly
Then rushed to hospital for my appendix was ruptured

And there you were again making sure I was found
In desperate times for us you were always there dear God
If I don't thank you enough please forgive me Father
My faith has only grown through all the emergencies

The years passed and accidents kept happening to me
All the abuse was so horrific at times and why Father
It turned out you were preparing me to help others for you
For what I went through almost killed me to learn for you

When you have been through hell you can understand
For so many have been through much worse and need you
Just being there to listen and hold if need be helps them
In their desperate times of solace and trauma and pain

Oh there were many more accidents and desperate times
So many of these times I was lucky to come out alive
Faith somehow had it's way to bringing me out safely
I became known as a functioning adult survivor with love

Now I am seventy five and life still at times feels awful
Sure the times of pain and anguish are of a different kind
When we were young getting to know life was needed
But the scars from our whole lives formed and hurt us

How can anyone venture in to get to know you closely
For moment to moment we can be overly wanting and needy
Due we have the right to get bent out of shape if neglected
Or so our heart and mind wonders and believes that we do

If two people fall in love in their senior years it's not easy
There are so many challenges and outside occurrences daily
We get all confused and our boundaries all to often blur
And our partner gets possibly upset why we are this way

Then we should try to understand their need too for they hurt
It is at these times we may get desperate for understanding
For they love us and we should be able to talk lovingly also
Then maybe each gets a little stubborn and pride full sadly

All the time maybe sitting and thinking in your own home
What good does this do to get a loving solution for each
Then be together enjoying the day and each others company
Having arguments is so hurtful though we can't stop them

Or maybe we can if we surrender to our Lord's will totally
To be understanding when we feel headed into desperation
For me is so hard for the moments hurt is to large and deep
Maybe to our partner we seem to act well childish sort of

Well in my mind the doors and phones and attention
Should go both ways for everyone to make a solid relationship
If either partner is overly selfish with wanting their way
Only rocky roads and unhappiness prevails for both sadly

Is it easy to say I am sorry you were hurt forgive me please
Now both need to really assess their emotions and feelings
Also each may be grieving over losses of deep love marriages
There are seven stages of grief you get stuck in one it is painful

By rights how does anyone know if they are really in love
No matter what some need closeness and companionship
Balancing all life gives us can be nearly impossible at times
It would be nice if all could just love kiss and make up

So my Desperate Lord is more in the open now for all
Maybe just maybe my opening and writing will help
Possibly save a life and a relationship for the better lovingly
God bless you all and your on going desperate walking